For a moment, I moved out of this love and into the shoulds. In the next moment, I came back to reality. Know that everyday, each and every one of us will be faced with these shoulds. Everyday we will move into separation. Everyday we will experience judgment. And everyday, we have the opportunity to come back. We may come back to choice, back to ownership, back to reality and back to love.
Empathy may be a tool to open up to the deepest parts of yourself and heal all wounds. When you shield yourself from the world you create a story that we all require protection from the world. This story moves us into separation, moves us into judgement and moves us into fear.
For years, I have felt so much guilt and shame about being in this relationship that I didn’t allow myself to move through it. I stayed stuck with it, letting the undealt with emotions carry forward into my relationship today. Every year, the anniversary of his death has brought up the opportunity to see the truth in the situation and this year I finally accepted.
I have spent the last seven years searching. Seeking out the lost piece of my soul in darkness and now in light. It has been a complete undoing of everything I thought I knew. All my belief systems have been dismantled and over the last three years I have cultivated the tools to put myself back together. I have found my inner light, my inner knowing and a deep love for myself. I am surrounded by miracles every day as I watch the beauty of my life unfold. I continue to feel, I continue to move through fear and I continue to make it out on the other side, where I thrive.
So often we use food in an attempt to fill the void that our heart and soul are feeling. Our eating habits are a beautiful indicator for us of what is really going on and to see what really needs to be addressed. I use beat poetry to express my own experience with digging deeper.